To really understand this rant, I need to take you back about three months. My daughter asked me to take her shopping, and as the mother of a teenage daughter, I was just happy to spend some time with her. So I willingly hopped into the car and we drove to La Jolla to do some shopping. We went to a store that I’ve never been to before, so I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t have expectations, but I definitely wasn’t expecting what I walked into. The store was tiny, cramped, and clothes were strewn everywhere. I remember my first thoughts were that this must be some cool new thrift store, because nearly every item in the store had rips and holes, and very little material. I asked the employee if there was a method to the madness and she told me, “ It’s supposed to feel like your closet.” I wasn’t exactly sure whose closet, but OK I guess?
I squatted on the floor, the only place I could find any space, while my daughter meandered around. When she started modeling the clothes, I nearly had a heart attack, as they were not clothes that her father would let her leave the house in. I remember one mother told me to chill out and that I needed to “Flow.” And then this woman asked me my daughter’s age, and when I told her that she was 15, she took back her words and told me I couldn’t buy her any of it! Ya think?
In the end, she found a few cool pieces that were “Dad worthy,” and I happily went to pay so we could get out of there. It’s at that point that I nearly had my second heart attack. This was no thrift store. Either I was being punked, and Ashton Kutcher was going to come out from behind a camera laughing, or I needed to have my head checked because there was no possible way these clothes could cost this much money! Once I realized that it was happening, I thought that maybe it was secretly owned by Kylie Kardashian? I just wasn’t getting the scene, but I caved and purchased an adorable romper. I told my daughter that was the last time I go back to that store...
...That was until today. They were having their annual 60 percent off sale and who can resist a sale like that? I went back, but today I took a whole new approach. When we arrived, there must have been 50 girls in this tiny cramped space, all grabbing and throwing clothes everywhere. It was beyond insane. Literally like a scene from a movie, where the girl is trying to find the perfect outfit for a first date, and she throws clothes all over the place. Come on, who does that in real life? But today, I picked up and threw clothes like it was going out of style! And I was having the time of my life until, wait for it, my germ phobia came out. We were pushing our way around the long table filled with clothes, grabbing and throwing, when a girl pushed up behind me and told all her friends that she had just gotten tested for the Zika virus. I started backing away quickly, but still listened, while she told her friends to make sure to wash their hands because she most likely has it. I’m not even sure why I should be afraid of Zika, but still? It’s about 90 degrees in this cramped space, and everyone in there was literally sticking together we were so hot and close together. Ugh, this went south quickly.
In short, I’m cherishing these moments with my daughter because she’ll be driving before long, and I’m fairly certain that once that starts, the days of her asking me to shop with her are going to be long gone. This is what I’m telling myself every time my kids ask me to do something that I really don’t want to do. Oh, and if you’re going to hit this sale, here are some tips: Mentally prepare, wear tennis shoes so nobody can step on your feet, wear gloves, (germs), have your wallet ready to move through the incredibly slow line, and have fun.
What say you? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.