Want to be happy? Make it happen


Life can be overwhelming on a good day, let alone when there is a pandemic going on. I don’t know about you, but for me, some days feel out of control.

Then, I ask myself – did I ever actually have control?

What I can control is where I try and focus my energy, especially during those moments when I realize I am spinning into an abyss of “what ifs” and feeling that I’m under the tight grip of pandemic restrictions.

As a mom of two middle and high school girls, I not only feel the lack of control in my life, but I also feel the anxiety my girls are experiencing. I know a lot of other moms who can relate. Perhaps you do, too.

We want our kids to be enjoying their childhood, developing friendships and participating in school activities. We want them to be learning in a school environment with a qualified teacher leading them. We want them to be playing sports, attending pep rallies and having fun.

Maybe we can’t make life “normal” for our kids right now, but we can control how we help our kids navigate this unusual and challenging time. When we handle our anxieties, fears, and frustration by freaking out, we are not helping our children. In fact, we are doing them a disservice, because they end up feeding off of our emotions.

As I said in last month’s column, embracing change helps me to feel more in control. Once we let go of trying to control what we can’t, we become free from what is controlling us.

When you can’t control what is happening to you, I challenge you to control the way you respond. When you are a good role model and set healthy boundaries for yourself, you will feel more optimistic, and your children and loved ones will be inspired, too.

  • Create a chart of things that you can control and things you cannot. Give your best in the areas you can control and use most of your resources (financially, emotionally or spiritually) to increase the positive outcome.
  • Embrace the power of adaptability. When we adapt ourselves to the reality of a situation – even temporary situations – we feel our inner strength rise within us.
  • Develop a plan to manage your stress. Eliminate unhealthy coping skills, like drinking too much or complaining to other people. Engage in positive activities such as exercise, healthy eating, meditation, and getting adequate sleep. Make time for a new hobby such as learning a new language online or starting a Zoom book club with friends.
  • Focus on healthy affirmations instead of wasting your time ruminating. A gratitude journal is a great way to change the negative messages in your brain. Find a few positive quotes that inspire you, write them down and repeat them to yourself when you are stressed out, freaking out or feeling down.

Moms Making Six Figures supports women in a team-centered environment to help them meet their goals of developing their own businesses while maintaining flexibility. For more information visit www.momsmakingsixfigures.com. You can follow Heidi at heidibartolotta.com or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/heidibartolotta